My surgical experience (or Daisy's birth)

I have had surgery twice, once to repair a severed nerve in my hand and then again to place a dental implant which replaced a tooth. Both times I was awake and the procedure only lasted about an hour.

This time, though, I didn't really know what to expect. Sure, books said that c-sectin lasted only about half an hour, and the prep time was about twice that. When we arrived at the hospital we started a wait game. First we waited to have the an ultrasound. Then we waited to have the baby monitored. Then we waited to see about the doctor's availability. We waited some more to see which surgeon could assist, and which doctor was available to administer the spinal block. Then we waited while our nurse took a break and we waited again for blood to be taken. I waited while my husband stepped out to get some lunch - I couldn't eat but why should he starve? Finally, I was wheeled into the surgical unit at about 12:30. I received my spinal - which wasn't pleasant. I could feel my legs getting numb and warm but I tried to focus on the fact that I would be meeting our new child any minute. Still, I could feel my anxiety level climbing and I just tried to tell myself that as soon as Tom, my husband, came in the room he could help me stay calm.

They layed me down on the table and I could feel the numbing medication start to creep up my shoulders. I started to ask for Tom and then it hit me. A wave of fear washed over me, and all I wanted was to run out of there. But of course, I couldn't run because I was numb from the chest down. "No!" I cried, "Where is Tom? I want Tom!" My midwife spoke to me softly and encouraged me to breathe. I cried, and cried as I begged them to get Tom. I was given an anti-anxity medication and quickly I relaxed. I think it was about that time that they began surgery and then Tom walked in. Tom sat by my head as I struggled to stay awake and alert. I could hear the surgeons talking, idle chit chat as my stomach lay exposed, and then my uterus. Tom stood up a couple of times to look and quickly, very quickly, my doctor said "Dad, take a look." Tom stood up to look at our child, a baby girl! He told me quickly, as I urged him to go be with her.

Tears dripped down my the sides of my face as I waited to hear her cry. It was a weak , soft cry. She sounded much like a newborn kitten. The nurses were busy suctioning her airway and she sounded raspy and a bit weak. Tom eventually brought her over to me and I said hello and was able to kiss her. The doctors sewed me up, and I could hear the surgical nurse counting the instruments to make sure that they didn't leave anything inside of me!

We were wheeled into the recovery room, where Daisy curled up on the warming table and the nurses tended to her. I was struggling to recover from the medication, eager to sit up but completely unable to do so. My legs were numb and I couldn't move them. Tom brought Daisy over again, but the nurses were continuing to work on her. I asked when I could nurse her, but it became clear that Daisy wasn't ready. She needed some time and then I continued to wait, waiting for her the breath better, waiting for her to be placed in my arms, waiting to begin my journey with her as her mother, waiting to get to know this precious child.

I was going to have to do a lot more waiting.